Tim's Story

The most important battles fought are the battles of the mind.
-- Anonymous

I was able to deny my own mid life despair until I returned to my alma matter Tulane University at the age of 45 to teach part time in the business school.  I had graduated prior to cell phones, pagers, laptop computers, palm pilots and even fax machines. The only computer that I ever used was the centralized mainframe which ran the entire University and required typed cards to harness its processing power, then probably a fraction of a single laptop sitting in a student's dormitory room today.

What had happened? Over two decades had dribbled away in a flash. It seemed that only yesterday I was scuttling around Tulane's tree-lined campus with my knapsack, slipping sheepishly into one of the wooden desks in the back of the traditional classroom, often after class had started, with my whole life and career ahead of me. Today, I was facing my own students, assuredly settled into comfortable swivel chairs in a tiered amphitheater, which reminded me more of a corporate conference center than a college classroom. I often felt that my students were judging me as opposed to my grading them.

I had graduated with three degrees from Tulane, a B.A. in economics, an M.B.A. and a J.D.   Along the way I passed the CPA exam to add some extra icing to my résumé. I thought I was set for life.

For a while, it appeared that I might be right. Upon graduation, I slid almost effortlessly into an old line, prestigious corporate law firm in New Orleans and paid a top salary. Then, I parlayed my three years at the law firm to an even higher paying job with a Fortune 500 company, which had recently relocated from New York to New Orleans and was looking to beef up its corporate law department. I charged into my new position with boundless enthusiasm. Soon, I was firmly entrenched in the corporate fast track, jetting around the world closing creative and complex deals, which dwarfed anything that my contemporaries were doing and which required every ounce of my education, intelligence and stamina. I was barely 30 years old, but had already caught the attention of senior management.

However, my career was turned on its head in my early forties with a corporate restructuring that I was still struggling to recover from.  I had also suffered some financial setbacks and to top it off had also ended a 10 year relationship. In addition, three close family members had died during this time 

I had recently bumped into an old friend who informed me that he was raising children, making money and having fun. I responded that I was doing none out of the above. I felt an utter lack of enthusiasm for life. I was simply going through the motions, often running from life rather than embracing it. I was scrambling to avoid failure as opposed to confidently pursuing success. I wondered how had my life turned out so badly?  I had played by the rules. I studied hard and worked hard and generally did what I was supposed to do. What was the problem?  I didn't have a clue.

Then I remembered someone I had known a long time ago.

With his shaggy hair, blue jeans and tee shirts, he wasn't that much to look at. He was actually a bit brash for my taste. He talked openly of his bold plans to obtain several degrees from an expensive private university when neither he nor his parents had any money. This whole idea seemed quite ludicrous under the circumstances. But the strange thing was that he succeeded. It wasn't easy and there were many setbacks along the way. But he persisted and somehow managed to complete his education. It had taken working three jobs at a time, student loans and today's equivalent of $250,000 in scholarship assistance. But the truth is that he succeeded because he never once doubted that he would.

So I thought .... if I did it then, I can do it now.

I felt a surge of positive energy and hope, deeper than I had experienced in a long time. I HAD succeeded in the past. I had beaten tremendous odds to complete my education. All of my friends in college had come from very wealthy households. My best friend's father owned one of the largest electronics manufacturers in the world. His family owned homes in New York City, Hong Kong and Ft. Lauderdale.

I realized the ultimate irony of my success in completing my education. The confidence and perseverance behind my diplomas should have been the launching point for my career. Instead, it had been my high point. After graduation, I seemed to never approach obstacles and adversity nearly as resourcefully as I had during my student days. It was almost as if I had left much of my self confidence behind at Tulane. Once I entered the workforce, fear and other self-defeating behaviors had gradually crept into my life. Perhaps the skies would part and fortune would once again smile down upon me.  I was looking for answers everywhere except where they were. I needed to look within.

I realized that I needed to make some definite changes if I was to lead a happier and more fulfilling life. I wanted to re-energize and refocus my life along a path of self renewal.  I needed  an overhaul .... a tune up..... a midlife tune-up.

Mid Life Tune Up.

I liked the automobile analogy.  The last two decades have produced profound changes in the automobile industry. Cars that used to peter out after 60,000 miles now run for hundreds of thousands of miles.

Like automobiles, human life spans have also been extended in both the quantity of years as well as the quality of life. Many of us are just hitting our stride or getting "broken in" at mid life. Our performance potential has now been extended by decades. Like quality cars, our bodies can also look good and drive well for a long time provided that we focus on taking care of ourselves as opposed to being pre-occupied by our odometers.

I reflected for some time on a process to tune up my own life. Instead of changing sparks and plugs, it involved changing attitudes, outlook and behavior. I had immersed myself in self-help literature for over twenty years and had attended many motivational seminars and retreats. I had also observed many happy and successful people. I eventually developed the ingredients of the tune up process which all began with the letter P:

Passion
Purpose
Power
Planning
Perspective
Pereseverance  

I am pleased to day that they dramatically improved my life and I hope that they improve yours.